Man U

Manchester United: POOR Bayern are in for an Absolute Cuffing


Bayern are about to get a footballing lesson

Yes, they are the champions of Europe. And, sure, they may not have lost a game since the internet was invented.

They could well have a better midfield warming the bench than Manchester United do on the field. And despite their brilliance they may, somehow, still be improving.

But you know what? Manchester United are going to be fine.

And you know why? Bayern complacency and underestimation of course (plus the odd bit of astronomical improvement from Manchester United for good measure).

Because there is already a sense of gleeful, dismissive pseudo-humility present in the public reactions of the Bayern players to the draw.

Team captain Phillipp Lahm described it as a ‘super draw’, while director of sport Matthias Sammer spoke of an opponent who ‘are struggling for stability, and are wobbly’.

Arjen Robben said:

“Obviously they’re struggling in the Premier League this season but that counts for nothing in the Champions League. We have to be up for it from the start. United aren’t in great shape but they’re still a top team.”

Manchester United, by contrast to Bayern Munchen, have had a terrible season. They have gone from bad to worse in terms of performance and, apart from about 50 minutes of the game on Wednesday night, they have been virtually devoid of intensity and quality all season. They have almost ground to a complete standstill as a team – more rotten than squeaky bum time.

But, form aside, we aren’t talking about Grasshoppers of Zurich here. We’re not talking about some part-time postmen who are happy just to be in the quarters. We are talking about MANCHESTER UNITED – Champions of England and three times winners of the European Cup, who would have beaten Real Madrid last year had it not been for the Nani red card.

This is a team which still has more world class players in it than most other sides on the planet – players who can make a difference even in the tightest games.

If Manchester United play to their potential in the quarter finals we are talking about the awakening of a giant that can cast a shadow over even the biggest teams.

This game will be like watching Rocky 14 where our ‘beloved’ Sylvester Stallone’s now 85 year old character is forced, through sheer honour, to come back into the ring because some 7ft 22 year old machine from Russia who broke Rocky’s wife’s nose for no reason except that he’s a baddy. And we all know who’s going to win that fight don’t we? Even though Rocky only has ten days to shed 60 pounds he still ultimately cuffs the arrogant Russian after taking a particularly bad beating to the now flab covered kidneys for 9 rounds.

So, while we wouldn’t go as far as to say that we are convinced that Manchester United will progress to the semis, we wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Bayern players beating their hands on the pitch and crying like babies to their mummas come April 9th.

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  1. gaz7753

    Mar 23, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    Not a hope in hell over 2 legs, bayern v real madrid final with real winning it.

  2. Maybach

    Mar 24, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Real in the Final sorry but I dont think so, how can you just wright Barca of like that after they beat Real last night no and Bayern’s form in the CL at home is is just not good so we will see but am telling you now Man Utd is better in the CL so just wait and see.

  3. Nik

    Mar 24, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    I agree; United have been written off more times than George Michaels Range River and they come back every time. A very dangerous team to take be taken lightly

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