Chelsea back in for star striker
Some areas of the press are reporting that Chelsea have given up hope of signing Porto’s Hulk due to the height of fee, which is supposedly set somewhere around the £40m mark. But Hulk is a top player already and has drawn serious glances even at that price.
What Hulk has is a rare mixture of skill and size. Precision and power. He has the fleet feet associated with the best of Brazil, but he is also looks like a brick wall with a wig on. Thus, he could easily thrive amidst the maelstrom of the English game.
Aaaanyhoo. Zenit are apparently circling for his signature and The Daily Star reports that ‘a Chelsea source’ (i.e. Ray Wilkin’s, wife’s, dog minder’s, mate’s hairdresser) , says Porto won’t even sell at £40m.
Therefore, the Daily Stir reckons that Chelsea are going back in for Napoli hitman Edison Cavani instead, who is apparently available at a marginally more economical fee of £35 squill.
I think that everyone would just love to fast forward to the end of the transfer window so we can all have a nice cup of tea and chill out for a while. I don’t know about you but I’m freaking out with it all. Fingernails? What fingernails? I don’t have any fingernails.